Holiday Shopping with TMAT!

Sleigh bells ring, are you listenin'?

In the lane, snow is glistenin'!
A beautiful sight!

We're HAPPY tonight!

Walkin' in a winter wonderlan'!

Photo Credit: Pexels.com

December is here, which can only mean one thing: it's once again time to procrastinate buying the perfect Christmas gift for your family and friends with whom you share the mutual obligation of gift-giving.

Now for some of us who share the hobby, this is not actually difficult. I'm mean, really: what gift could be more perfect than a box of still-sprued plastic orcs, just oozing with creative potential? Who could refuse the joy of a disassembled Nazgul? Even the challenge of a fine-cast Great Beast is a joy when the fine-cast is gifted. Plus, the gift of miniatures to someone in your gaming group is almost the same as a gift to yourself, right? (Hey, can I borrow that Sauron next week? After all, I did give him to you for Christmas...)

But gift-buying for the few who haven't seen the light (or who are still stuck in Warhammer)? Well, that's more of a challenge.

That's where we come in. Because you see, over the past year, TMAT has been collecting gift ideas on our blog from hundreds of highly-motivated entrepreneurs who have been spamming our blog* with the perfect way to buy that perfect gift for that perfect someone with that hard-earned money (or kidney) you haven't spent (or sold) on miniature goodness.

So without further ado, here are the top-10 things you never knew you needed this holiday season... until now**:

Number 10. Preserved Roses (posted by Jonesh)

Roses are red, violets are blue... unless you shop with Letter P Royal Blue & Lilac Preserved Roses, where you can get preserved roses of all colors, shapes, and breeds at a valuable price!

It's hard to go wrong with classic red, but the more adventurous among us may like the royal blue (or the soft pink, if your relationship is in the "friend zone"). Plus, Letter P offers a White Heart Shape Forever Rose in a Box (for when a preserved rose by itself just isn't enough).

Number 9. Original Paintings Online (posted by original_painting_new_artist)

This gift idea makes the list because it is actually two gift-shops in one. On the one hand, this is "a best place to Buy Original Paintings Online at affordable price," with "unique theoretical artistic creations available to be purchased, impressionistic canvases, practical compositions and that is just the beginning."

I've never seen an impressionistic canvas or a theoretical artistic creation, but affordable is always solid. Plus, the artists "need you to cherish your new workmanship, so if a piece does not exactly work in your space," you can "return it inside seven days of accepting your request and we will give you a discount at the cost of the craftsmanship." I'm not entirely sure that's the same thing as a refund (or if it includes postage), but it sounds close-ish.

Plus, the selection here is incredible. For just $1,950 USD (plus tax), you can buy a 72x32 five-panel painting of Dave's Bridge, which won first place at the Wisconsin State Fair in 2019. Or, for the low-low price of $1,080 USD a three-panel landscape of Sunset on the Chippewa Flowage. Personally, I'm not familiar with the work of Merill Rutell, other than that he received a Merit Award from "Art Room Gallery" (complete with a triple-exclamation point "Congratulations!!!" saluation). But that's more Merit Awards from the Art Room Gallery than I've ever received, so who am I to judge?

On the other hand, if you're not sold on the paintings themselves, never fear: because Original Paintings Online is also an "online transfer commercial center" that is "a go-to for plan lovers who are anxious to purchase and sell collectibles just as ornamental items. With regards to workmanship, the computerized stage has something for everybody."

Not sure what that last sentence means, but I know plenty of people who have collectibles as ornamental items. So if you're looking to spare that kidney, you're in luck: they have an online commercial transfer center! Woot!

Number 8. Roza-Creativity's Beige Butterfly Pillow (posted by Wizard)

This one actually looks legit... I mean, Etsy has a video where you can get up-close and personal with its basket-woven fabric, Borbolet-inspired pattern, and of course the eponymous butterflies (though they are blue, not beige). Here's what you have to look forward to:

• beige basket woven fabric with butterflies (accent pillows) "very fluffy"
• Each pillow includes a professional made pillow insert w/ poly-fil fibers.
• Spring colors to brighten your day with love, peace and happiness. (made w/ love)

$40 USD seems a little pricey to me for a pillow (even if it's 18 inches by 18 inches, which seems a little large for me), but I didn't realize how much couches cost until I got married (or after), so what do I know?

Number 7. Towing Services in Tigard (posted by joshepclown)

I mean... I've never been to Tigard, Oregon (population 53,000, elevation 299 feet). And I don't have any plans to visit Tigard. But I suppose if I did and my car broke down there, I would prefer it be towed than left alone and forlorn on the highway. 

In fairness, the post does say their services aren't strictly limited to Tigard (they also provide towing services in "other city of Oregon"), and towing "has become very important service in life." Plus, if I don't like Towing Services in Tigard, I can always visit Closest Towing Company or Boat Towing Company (if, you know, someone gives me a boat for Christmas).

I don't think I'll ever need this, but can you say "never say never"? Ever?

Number 6. The Roamer Photo Booth (posted by Albert Alexander)

You remember going to a wedding and seeing those phone booths where people go in and take silly pictures? Aren't they fun? Here's what they won't tell you: going to weddings is an incredibly inefficient way to take those silly pictures (and as you know, here at TMAT we're all about the math). You have to buy a gift, travel, and of course there's the opportunity cost of sitting quietly at a wedding, in uncomfortable clothes, surrounded by people you barely know... all for a minute-and-a-half of gleeful fun in the photo booth? It's totally not worth it.

Why put yourself through that aggravation when you can just by a Retro Mirror Photo Booth instead? Complete with a case and table filled with props, hats, and signs for your event, this outdoor format booth will get your guests smiling and having fun, while providing them with hard print mementoes of their glorious evening. Plus, you can customize your photo experience to match the theme of your event with the Roamer's totally portable, batter-powered photo capture system. Why don't you own one already?

Number 5. Spandex Waist Trainers (posted by AngleneChristophe)

Yes, many of us got into this hobby when we were young. But that was a while ago. Life changes. We can't stay up past midnight anymore. Our idea of an exciting night out is rolling plastic cubes to slaughter tiny plastic figures. Our bodies get harder to maintain. Sometimes, we just let ourselves go.

Which is why the fine folds at Waist Trainer have created Midriff Cinchers, which are "ordinarily comprise generally of latex, nylon, or spandex and are in some cases fixed with cotton for comfort." Additionally, "many have adaptable plastic boning or poles, sew into the texture to help them hold their shape." And if plastic just don't do it for you, "sturdier steel boning may incidentally be found in very good quality assortments."

Why does this rank so high on the list? Because if you live in the UK, you too can take advantage of this gift idea through Buy Waist Trainer UK (and "shape your body utilizing a steel boned girdle to alter your abdomen and make an ideal figure").***

Number 4. Hair Wigs (posted by Jonesh and rivals)

Speaking of getting old...

Sorry, that was uncalled for. Because as we all know, wigs played an important role in the film trilogy we all know and love (plus that other film trilogy that some of us know and love less). And occasionally they play a role in our game, too--after all, what would Throne of Skulls be without the dramatic costumes? And what are those costumes without dramatic wigs? (Lame costumes, that's what.)

But finding a good wig isn't as easy as it used to be. Which is why Jonesh is here with another useful find: Buy Hair Wigs Online, an "online store with fashion, home, beauty, and lifestyle products on our shelves and can choose from our selection of products that are on trend."

Of course, if you don't like Jonesh's selection (or prices), you could compare his stock with that of embrace_feng_shui, who offers "Lace front human hair," "Indian Straight hair bundles," and "Best Indian Human Hair Online for Peruvian Water Wave Bundles," which use Peruvian hair extensions and Brazilian hair extensions through "online and working working experts an[d] advvantageous method[s] to keep their vehicles fit as a fiddle without removing time from their bustling timetables."

Or you could just buy Anonymous's headband wigs (which utilize African soap administration and "African pendant necklaces with dual microphone and working experts an[d] advantageous method[s] to keep their vehicles fit as a fiddle without removing time from their bustling timetables").

Is your timetable bustling? Clearly, you need a wig!

Number 3. Cash! (posted by Charlie's_Goldfish)

Who doesn't like some cold, hard cash for the holidays? (Well, okay, maybe not your significant other...) Well, you're in luck! Because Charlie's_Goldfish will trade you cash for your watches, brooches, earrings, pendants, bracelents, honey bee necklaces, honey bee jewelry, honey bee pendants, bumble bee jewelry, bumble bee pendants, and 18k platinum jewelry.

Not sure what the fascination is with the bees, but even a bee-shaped pendant has to be less valuable than your kidney, right?

Number 2. A (Very) Private Flight to the Caribbean (posted by Charlie's_Niece_Airways)

Sometimes the best gift is the gift of relaxation, and what better place to relax during the cold winter months than the tropic Caribbean? So if you're looking to travel to (or from) "the U.S. islands, Puerto Rico, St Thomas, St. Croix and more mainstream objections," Charlie's_Niece_Airways has you covered!

As we all know, "there are twenty eight island countries in the Caribbean and every one of them are known for their delightful sea shores, dusks, food and culture." Plus, "on the off chance that you have at any point longed for relaxing on the sea shore with a mixed drink close by at a well known Caribbean objective, you will be glad to realize that it will not take a lot to turn this dream"!

Charlie's Niece offers private contracts to fly to the Caribbean in their "armada of Pilatus PC-12s." Or, if a PC-12 doesn't cut it for you, you could try their "armada of Citation CJ3 jets" instead!****

Number 1. Medicare (posted by Macs_Benefits_Insurance_Agency)

I've summarized the rest of these, but this is one where I just can't improve on the original:

Thank you for sharing this useful information and keep writing this type post. we are authorized as a protection organization in every one of the 50 states and DC. Tracking down a fair-minded Medicare Broker Near me will require exertion from you, yet the outcomes ought to be great. Administration and item accessibility fluctuates by state. Deals specialists might be repaid dependent on a shopper's enlistment in a wellbeing plan. At Medicare Brokers in Houston, we invest heavily in furnishing you with unprejudiced and master protection exhortation.

Clearly a lawyer wrote this, because the amount of jargon is mind-blowing. Who doesn't want a fair-minded Medicare broker? Who doesn't like great outcomes? Who wants to deal with item accessibility fluctuations by states? And who doesn't want to be invested heavily in (or unprejudiced and master protection exhortation)? We all need a helping hand, and that includes a hand to help us with Medicaid. 

Yesterday is gone; tomorrow may not come; today is all we have. That is why we call it "the present." Protect that present with a fitting present for today and tomorrow: Medicaid.

Last place: Elder Scrolls Online Products (posted by Jonesh)

Jonesh takes one final swing-and-miss with his offer of Best Selling Elder Scrolls Online Products (which he quizzically describes as a "network" that is "helpfult o sell your pictures to thousands of potential buyers that need them for websites, catalogs, books, magazines, and variety of other users."

Setting aside the obvious question (what exactly is this guy doing on Elder Scrolls Online that thousands of people would want to feature on their websites, books, magazines, and catalogs?), this one is a non-starter because he's got the wrong game. And that's a cardinal sin on a blog dedicated to just one game. So this one is out.

Do your research, Jonesh! No one wants Dugy World of Warcraft Guides or Killer Guitar Control Secrets here.

Merry Christmas from the TMAT team,

~Rythbryt

 

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* That's literally, not figuratively.

** For legal reasons (and because people are stupid), here's our obligatory warning that TMAT does not actually endorse any of these products, or encourage you to take this post literally (as we are literally making fun of the hundreds of spam posts that have targeted Tiberius's post on Mastering Magic: Restoration Spells--which is actually a good post, even if it's apparently a magnet for @@).

*** Again--TMAT does not actually endorse body shaping... or any of the products listed here.

**** No word on prices, but the website makes it look like it's a price-club thing (like Costco). But monthly club fees are as low as $0 a month, and it's hard to argue with prices like that!